I’m Sick of Feeling Alone

I’m sick of feeling alone
sick of feeling lost, all the way home
tired of this slow dance romance with chance
trying to rewrite the fate written into my hands
it’s this loneliness in a crowded space
it’s the trouble I have, with the shape of my face
the things I’ve ruined and can’t replace
the stories that I’ve written and can’t erase
the last trace of grace making chase in this race to keep pace
but it’s time we faced it, all these tickets are two-way
and there’s no way they say to change what we didn’t choose
to claim what we haven’t used
to stand as any more than just accused
but it was the offer that we couldn’t refuse
the last life line left for the drowning man
two steps onto shore and we’re already on quick sand
and big surprise there’s no disguise for the words behind tired eyes
the real lies I realize were just replies to these gray skies and last tries
and all at once I find myself considering the line between them and I
questions about answers and about our relative size
questions about why we’re here, and why we die
about running all my life to the rhythm of these working man’s blues
and working all my life for things I only stand to lose
Just pulling ghost trains with these regret chains
like Marley I rattle down these empty halls and try to explain
calling out to forgotten friends and pointing fingers
polishing my tarnished halo with the love of strangers
I’ll don death’s clothes, and then ask for favors
But it’s just in our nature it seems, to keep feeding this creature
to keep starring in this one-man feature
where the hero never wins, and that’s the real lesson
that no matter how hard you try, it’s only you
and when you die, you’ll do that alone too
but two tingling toes over the ledge I’m reminded that we’re all survivors of something
all writers of epoch tales about nothing
beating our oars to be better than those that came before us
walking some razors edge between forgiveness and ignorance
of the shameful truth about difference
the excuse we found in fingerprints
the way we let shade determine the people with whom our children play
and how we still always manage to sneak God into that killing game
is inexcusable, because the facts are irrefutable
we’re in this together, no matter how you address your prayers
neither life nor love are forever, and not everyone gets their share
but to escape the fate of our fathers, and the lines on our hands
we’re faced with strange houses, and finish lines drawn in sand
but onward we press, never looking right, never looking left
hardly stopping even to enjoy the power and beauty of our own success
but we’re all survivors, all prize fighters in our own right
putting hope on credit, and our hearts on loan
to quick to forget that we’re never really alone
I came tonight to attempt to atone to the people I let slip
and to the ones that I’ve never known
I can only hope to recall this hopelessness
when faced with that fine day when it all makes sense
and may we all find our way around this foolish belief in fingerprints
and that ignorant fear of the unknown
because I’m sick of feeling alone

~ by jeremy3892 on May 26, 2009.