I’ve Been Seeing Ghosts

So, I have been going through kind of a wild time in my life. I’ve written a lot but it’s been scattered, an idea here, a good line there, nothing that really ever found an ending. Which is why it brings me such great happiness to publish this, because it’s actually the complete thought I was looking for. I’ve been in kind of a funk lately, and my friend and I have been talking a lot about our issues with modern life, which leads me to this.

I’ve been seeing ghosts now darlin, and I’m not sure what that means
I’ve been seeing ghosts my baby, and they look just like me
I’ve been chased by spirits, they follow me home
I’ve been chased by spirits, it’s gotten so I’m never alone

[Bridge]
but I’ve been praying nightly, for some kind of release
yeah, I’ve been praying nightly, my Lord, just to find some peace

(Chorus)
because all that I’ve found, all that I’ve seen
is that fear and greed are used to make killers, out of you and me
and all that I know, and all I believe
is that we were meant for so much more than this, dying scene

I’ve been walking through graveyards, to and from my place
I’ve been walking graveyards, trying to hide my face
I started talking to Jesus, I called Him out by every name
the only answer was silence, and the soft sound of rain

(Chorus)
because all that I’ve found, all that I’ve seen
is fear and greed used to build walls, between you and me
but all that I know, all I believe
is that we’re more than what they take us for, not cogs in a machine
so maybe we’re young, maybe I’m naïve
but I’ve been seeing ghosts, and that can’t be all we’ll ever be

I was toying around with the first stanza for a while but couldn’t figure out where I wanted to take it. I couldn’t stand the thought of writing another one in which the pronoun “she” or “her” appeared, I really wanted to write something about us. All of us. Those blank faces, peppered with smiles and laughter, with all kinds of different things in their brains to chase after. We’re all in this together, and I think we too often forget that and just go about our days like no one else notices, like no one else cares. I’ve been lucky enough to find friends that I can trust like family and it’s through them, and them alone, that I’ve found meaning behind this whole ‘life’ thing. I too often turn down their extensions of friendship because I feel so indebted to them.

I wrote it thinking about shuffling my way through this city with my headphones on, just another hipster on a bike with one of those funny looking hats on, no one of particular interest; mostly because no one’s really interested. We survive in bubbles, rushed into reaching goals, and finally wind up forgetting what we were doing it for. To be better people, to be proud of ourselves, and build a better future for our children. Not faster, not richer, not cooler, but better. One where they learn more than we ever imagined and unlock secrets we struggled with for decades. One where they’re not judged by anything other than the content of their character and enjoy freedoms we could only dream of. Because we were meant for more than this paycheck existence. It’s become as much a part of our life as who we love and I just don’t think it’s right. So, I hope you liked the song as much as I like having written it. Feel free to comment.

~ by Jay-Will on November 13, 2009.